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marathoner452Someday I'll get caught up on my journaleers homework. Good thing I'm not being graded for timeliness.
I'm going to be brave and post this one publically. If you haven't read my deployment stories read them now. I truly believe in New Orleans and I want you to too.
~Bethany
JOURNAL WRITING HOMEWORK WEEK #4
Write a letter to one of your past or future selves in your journal. In other words, think of yourself as you were at a particular point in your life, and write yourself a letter addressing whatever issues were of most concern to you at the time.
For instance, you could reassure the ten-year-old you that things are going to work out all right; you could write a letter thanking the twenty-five-year-old you for being so brave and taking that risk; you could even write to the infant you and tell yourself about how beautiful the world is, in spite of the hardships you will face. Whatever would help this past self as well as your present self the most!
You could also write a letter to your future self. Maybe you'll express your fears about the future. Maybe you can tell this future self what life is like for you right now, as a reminder. (I can really picture that one for teens, for parents of young children- anyone whose life will obviously be very different in twenty years than it is right now. But it works for any age person, of course!)
If you'd like to share some or all of your letter with us, that would be great! Understandably some of the letters will be too personal to share. You can also tell us about any insights you gain by writing this letter.
Write a letter to one of your past or future selves in your journal. In other words, think of yourself as you were at a particular point in your life, and write yourself a letter addressing whatever issues were of most concern to you at the time.
For instance, you could reassure the ten-year-old you that things are going to work out all right; you could write a letter thanking the twenty-five-year-old you for being so brave and taking that risk; you could even write to the infant you and tell yourself about how beautiful the world is, in spite of the hardships you will face. Whatever would help this past self as well as your present self the most!
You could also write a letter to your future self. Maybe you'll express your fears about the future. Maybe you can tell this future self what life is like for you right now, as a reminder. (I can really picture that one for teens, for parents of young children- anyone whose life will obviously be very different in twenty years than it is right now. But it works for any age person, of course!)
If you'd like to share some or all of your letter with us, that would be great! Understandably some of the letters will be too personal to share. You can also tell us about any insights you gain by writing this letter.
I've been thinking about this one most of the week. I was thinking of writing a letter to myself in college, telling that me to take more risks. Looking back, though, I think I was more adventerous than first came to mind. I flew down to the Bahamas and did an Outward Bound sea kayaking course without knowing how to swim. I ran 3 marathons, me who was in remedial gym in elementary school and could barely run a mile in high school. I spent a semester in Miami. I wrote and defended a senior thesis on slavery and emancipation. I learned how to sail. I think I did a pretty decent job in the risk-taking department, given how scared of anything new I've always been.
No, this letter written to the me I used to be prior to August 29th 2005, the me I used to be before March 4th 2006. The me I used to be before I saw the 9th Ward up close and personal.
You went out with Michelle to Cheeseburger in Paradise August 27th where you both got N'Awlin's BBQ Shrimp. She had a hurricane to drink, the signature drink of New Orleans first made at Pat O'Brien's. Two days later, Katrina struck on the same day you started working at the Red Cross. What a time to start. I'll bet you'll always remember that. How Judy sat you down at your desk, turned on the TV and said there's our worst case scenerio, where the city fills up like a toxic soup bowl. We all thought they'd dodged the bullet at first, then the levees broke. By Friday you were no longer just working for the chapter, you were on Disaster Relief Operation 048-06, Hurricane Katrina.
You wrestled something awful with wanting to go down there, but in the end it wouldn't have mattered because Judy and Leah weren't about to let you go and probably lose you forever to whatever you saw down there, because it was awful, still awful 6 months later so you can only imagine what it was like in the days after. What took so long to come to terms with was selfishness, putting those months of marathon training and the desire to get good times out of them ahead of making history and changing lives. Of living the life you knew you were supposed to live from the day those levees broke. That's not to say you didn't do good work locally, what with all those people you screened for deployment and all those disaster education presentations you scheduled. All that was great. All that was necessary. It was a lot of fun too. But you knew there was something more.
Fortunately, you had a chance to redeem yourself. A chance to prove that you could put the call to help people and be humbled and changed in the process in front of what you had planned. A chance to prove that you could put what you knew you knew needed to be done ahead of your comfort zone. Now I'm not going to go into detail as to what you saw down there or who you became. That's all in your journal under "red cross deployment." I will say that while it was the toughest experiece of your life, it was by far the most rewarding. It really is true what they say, that when you help other people you're really helping yourself as much as you're helping them. It's amazing what happens when you cease to pass any judgment on people (by necessity but also without realizing it) and open yourself up like that. It's amazing what happens when you care so much about people it hurts.
You were born to stuff like this. A weather freak who reads about natural disasters for the fun of it. Someone who's not afraid of public speaking so you can give those disaster education presentations without getting too scared. Someone who's always learning what service really means. Someone who in 4th grade wrote a story about a group of friends on vacation who saved Ocean City, Maryland from a gigantic wave that was about to flood the city, who had disaster relief in her blood already at age 9. Someone who when it came right down to it, was afraid to take risks but more afraid not to take them.
I've said it a million time before and I'll say it again. Coleen was right about you when she said once you got down there you weren't coming back. The stuff you saw down there hit you hard, did a number on you so to speak, but you wouldn't have given it up for anything. When you're meant to do something, you just know.
No, this letter written to the me I used to be prior to August 29th 2005, the me I used to be before March 4th 2006. The me I used to be before I saw the 9th Ward up close and personal.
You went out with Michelle to Cheeseburger in Paradise August 27th where you both got N'Awlin's BBQ Shrimp. She had a hurricane to drink, the signature drink of New Orleans first made at Pat O'Brien's. Two days later, Katrina struck on the same day you started working at the Red Cross. What a time to start. I'll bet you'll always remember that. How Judy sat you down at your desk, turned on the TV and said there's our worst case scenerio, where the city fills up like a toxic soup bowl. We all thought they'd dodged the bullet at first, then the levees broke. By Friday you were no longer just working for the chapter, you were on Disaster Relief Operation 048-06, Hurricane Katrina.
You wrestled something awful with wanting to go down there, but in the end it wouldn't have mattered because Judy and Leah weren't about to let you go and probably lose you forever to whatever you saw down there, because it was awful, still awful 6 months later so you can only imagine what it was like in the days after. What took so long to come to terms with was selfishness, putting those months of marathon training and the desire to get good times out of them ahead of making history and changing lives. Of living the life you knew you were supposed to live from the day those levees broke. That's not to say you didn't do good work locally, what with all those people you screened for deployment and all those disaster education presentations you scheduled. All that was great. All that was necessary. It was a lot of fun too. But you knew there was something more.
Fortunately, you had a chance to redeem yourself. A chance to prove that you could put the call to help people and be humbled and changed in the process in front of what you had planned. A chance to prove that you could put what you knew you knew needed to be done ahead of your comfort zone. Now I'm not going to go into detail as to what you saw down there or who you became. That's all in your journal under "red cross deployment." I will say that while it was the toughest experiece of your life, it was by far the most rewarding. It really is true what they say, that when you help other people you're really helping yourself as much as you're helping them. It's amazing what happens when you cease to pass any judgment on people (by necessity but also without realizing it) and open yourself up like that. It's amazing what happens when you care so much about people it hurts.
You were born to stuff like this. A weather freak who reads about natural disasters for the fun of it. Someone who's not afraid of public speaking so you can give those disaster education presentations without getting too scared. Someone who's always learning what service really means. Someone who in 4th grade wrote a story about a group of friends on vacation who saved Ocean City, Maryland from a gigantic wave that was about to flood the city, who had disaster relief in her blood already at age 9. Someone who when it came right down to it, was afraid to take risks but more afraid not to take them.
I've said it a million time before and I'll say it again. Coleen was right about you when she said once you got down there you weren't coming back. The stuff you saw down there hit you hard, did a number on you so to speak, but you wouldn't have given it up for anything. When you're meant to do something, you just know.
I'm going to be brave and post this one publically. If you haven't read my deployment stories read them now. I truly believe in New Orleans and I want you to too.
~Bethany
